you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Please don't give away my fajitas
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