I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We left the knife in your bed.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
