If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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