Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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