No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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