Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
