You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize