Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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