And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
