I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
