We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
