Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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