just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
this just has baby written all over it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
