covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
