We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
