Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
