are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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