I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
