didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
