On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
