they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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