just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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