So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
