I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Operation Purity has been aborted
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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