awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
