i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Duck Duck Cougar?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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