If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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