apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize