Sponge bath it is.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
try to milk me bitch
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