We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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