I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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