I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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