She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
