I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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