Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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