Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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