But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
