you would pick up someone in the library
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
