I can tuck mytits in my pants
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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