I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You have to summon your inner elephant
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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