You made me cry and you don't even care
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
