my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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