My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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