I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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