help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
