I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
