Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
