On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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