i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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