I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
God, I missed his penis.
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