Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
