guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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