nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
