It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize