you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
