There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
