I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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