so that wasnt chicken after all
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
