I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I am available for nakedness
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
