She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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