They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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