listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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