that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Houston, we have a blender
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
