garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
