dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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