He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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