This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
