at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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